On How Backpacking Changes Me

I recently made a post on social media about how backpacking has changed who I am in a subtle but notable way. Each time I go on a significant backpacking trip, some part of me is changed. My behavior, thinking, and even emotional makeup are changed. In saying this, I got a surprising amount of interest in having me expand upon this further.

I’ll warn everyone: this isn’t going to be an article of some kind. This is going to be just me putting together some different thoughts on this topic. Some of it might get a little weird. I’m weird, so it’s only fitting. Sorry for the lack of pictures.

First, What?

I think it’s appropriate to first define what this backpacking is. Yeah, really. I rarely think a single overnight, no matter how difficult, really qualifies quite yet. It is possible with those, but it tends to be inconsistent. Rather, I would say it would have to be at least 3 days. Such that one entire day is nothing but waking up in the backcountry and walking all day to another spot in the backcountry. That’s it. The entire day is just that (and eating). The more of those days you get, you might even be able to or even need to add zeros–that is, days spent entirely on trail but not hiking anywhere significant on trail. And through it all, I would say you need to be basically self-sustained. There’s exceptions. But the impact grows the more self-sustained you are, I think.

The best trips of all have failure. Something fails. Gear breaks. Your shelter gets ripped in half in the middle of the night. A fox wakes you up and scares the hell out of you at 2am. Weather interferes in all of the crazy ways it does. You think you’re going to die. You may have permanently injured something… maybe… it sure feels like it! You’re out of water, in the desert, without cell service, and you legitimately fear getting to water before heat stroke sets in. It’s cold as hell outside and actively begin trying to remember the symptoms of hypothermia. These are especially powerful moments on especially powerful trips.

But through all of that, you’re spending your days, often alone, just walking in the wilderness as your mind wanders where it will. The funny thing is that I just said a lot in that sentence.

But How?

Let me just address this: the time alone can certainly be a factor. On the spectrum that is extrovert to introvert, I’m somewhere in the middle. I can thrive off of social interactions, but I need my time alone to process myself. My alone time is thus where I’m most likely to experience change in myself. I don’t think that should be neglected. I also don’t think it should be overstated. There’s another factor to follow that I think is more important and explains how I get so much change from backpacking alone.

Another obvious one is the impact of nature. There’s so many parts of this. I’m going to link to this article from the American Psychological Association (APA). The article points out multiple studies that showed mood boosting effects from simply SEEING nature. Kids with ADHD had better focus after spending time in nature. People actually healed faster from surgery just having a view of a tree instead of a brick wall. How crazy is that?! So, clearly, we can’t discredit nature’s influence at all. I truly do believe humans were physically and psychologically meant to be in nature. That’s where we belong. While I spend all of my time in nature anyway, because I live out of a car and boondock everywhere, perhaps the getting deeper into wilderness areas on backpacking actually has an even bigger impact. I don’t know. It’s an interesting concept.

A more subtle point to make is all of the neurotransmitters and hormones that hiking all day engages. Now, this is actually really interesting. Most people probably know all about endorphins. The endogenous opiates of the human body. And that’s definitely valid, because your body releases those to deal with the pain of putting your body through a large amount of physical stress. In addition to that, another big one is anandamide. The endogenous cannibinoids of the human body! These also deal with the pain, helps relax the muscles, increases your appetite to catch up with the calories you’re burning, and can provide a slight psychedelic improvement, increasing your sense of novelty and other cool things. You’re getting high from your own body’s natural functions. Yup. And I haven’t gotten into adrenaline, cortisol, and other fun things. There’s a chemical concoction going on in your brain while backpacking. This has all kinds of effects on your thinking. There’s even evidence that exercise like this can change the physical structures in your brain. CRAZY!

Now, let me teach you a little hiking exercise for a remission. It’s really simple. Simply hiking like normal, start thinking about your breathing. Count how long it takes to take a full, nice breath in. Go by how many steps you take. Now, exhale, and try to make that last 3 steps. No big deal if you can’t, or if you feel like you can go for 4. Whatever. Just go with it. Repeat that as long as you hike. Every breath in, just counting steps. And every breath out, trying 3+ steps before inhaling again.

That’s actually totally relevant. Because I do that, and I truly believe it enhances my hiking. Now, I don’t have any evidence I’m going to dig up for this, but is anyone actually going to argue with me that proper breathing is not only beneficial but important to every single other sport? And yes, backpacking/hiking is a sport–the level of backpacking I defined above is really an endurance sport, to be specific. And here’s the thing…

Those breathing exercises is a really simple form of mindfulness meditation. So, I’m literally walking along the trail, meditating all day. I think this is the more important factor of the being alone I mentioned above. And this is where it gets really interesting! Mindfulness meditation like this is even crazier than all of the chemical and physical stuff going on in your brain. Here’s another link to an APA article, this time on empirically supported benefits of mindfulness! Reduced rumination, stress reduction, boosts to working memory, focus, less emotional reactivity, more cognitive flexibility, relationship satisfaction, and other stuff like increased immune functioning. Mindfulness can literally change your physical brain!

See all of these things I’m getting at here. How does backpacking change you? Well. Lots of surprisingly crazy ways!

Oh, you thought I wasn’t going to get technical on your asses? I did! For those who don’t know, what little college I do have, it’s all in the psychology field, and specifically substance abuse. This stuff is all ridiculously relevant to the field that I considered working in at that time. I still have a deep passion for it. Hopefully some of y’all might have learned some new stuff from reading this.

Okay, okay, but in what ways?

Now, I don’t think all of this effects every person the same way, in ways so easily measurable in terms of “in what ways did that change you?” I think each time, it’s something different for me, even. I’ll give an example, though.

For some reason, for a long time, I’ve always found myself looking at the “On this day” thing in Facebook. I know I’m not the only one: I have several friends that share something from there almost every day. But then I went backpacking in the Sawtooths of Idaho for the eclipse. I’ve looked at that stupid feature twice since then. And I know it’s been twice, because both times it tripped me out! And both times, I only looked at it because I had posted something funny a year or two ago. Now, this seems like a ridiculously silly thing. But it’s actually much more interesting, I think. It’s not like I use Facebook less since then (I probably use it more). I still see it there every day. But it just doesn’t interest me. In fact, when I see it, I have an aversion. That thing is looking into the past. Why would I want to look into the past? I’d rather live in the now. So, I don’t look at it. This is a silly change on the surface, but a kind of fundamental change deeper in. I’ve often thought of life on this level, but the past, and those stories, can still be really intriguing. I’ve found myself inherently just not finding them as interesting every since going on a backpacking trip. How weird!

Oh, and did I ever mention that time that I section hiked the PCT, starting at mile 0 at the US/Mexico border? That time when I was about 60 miles in and decided that I was going to live out of my car? Yeah. That is a true story. And look at me now!

An example from my most recent trip on the San Diego Trans-County Trail: I noticed about halfway through the hike that every time I said something kind of negative, I kept following it up with something positive and reassuring to myself. I just kept doing this. It seemed kind of funny and foreign, but it really got me through the hike. And ever since, I’ve had an uncomfortably positive attitude about basically everything. It’s rather strange. But it’s something going on right now.

Now, I don’t know how much each of these sticks or how significant anyone else may find them. But I think they’re interesting examples of this change I speak of. They can range from subtle to drastic to somewhat multi-dimensional. I don’t expect anyone else would have exactly the same experiences, but I have heard plenty of other backpackers express similar sentiments about how the experience changes them. That is, I don’t think I’m at all alone!

I hope you enjoyed reading this if it is your thing. It’s a big long post. Without pictures? Whaaaa?!